After the first 15 minutes of elliptical, I started to creep myself out. I wonder if it's normal to get weird feelings during exercise or if it's something else going on. Last night at the rink, I had this same creepy feeling. Then we saw a snake outside, so I figured that was it. Again, today on my elliptical, I got a bad feeling that something bad was about to happen. I could take a Xanax, which was prescribed to me for PRN use, but I don't like to take them. 1. They are drugs 2. They dry my throat and eyes out and 3. The pills only work for a few hours of grogginess and then I feel more creeped out than before. I'd rather manage my anxiety on my own. Instead of dreading when a panic attack may hit, I need to focus on the fact that once its all done I'll feel a lot better and so it doesn't matter.
I did add squats to my aerobics today. I did about 10 in a row before I had to stop, which is way awesome. I couldn't do squats before because I was so worried about falling. I was practicing by leaning against a wall for support or holding on to a support bar in front to assist me while trying to do squats. I was so worried about keeping my back straight and my knees behind my toes even though those things happen naturally. I felt like I'd fall because my back was completely right angled to my body. Straight doesn't mean right angle, obviously. Even if your knees arent perfect, as long as you feel it in your front upper calves (idk the term) youre doing it right. Now I can do 10 squats in a row. Once they get easier, I can work on form...by myself, by watching videos and reading. I get very discouraged when someone tells me I've been doing an exercise incorrectly, but if I learn the correction on my own I'll perfect it.
On a totally vain note, I'm getting my hair done today. I haven't had it done since February because I've been too concerned with getting fit and buying things to assist me with that, like the worthless pedometer. I have a lot of ash brown growth at the roots. I have this over-processed blonde ombré thing going on and I want to get all of my hair back to my natural color. I go to Sarona Salon and usually the owner does my hair. This time, Shelly is doing it. If she wasn't good, she wouldn't be working there. It's a highly recommended salon. Still, I'm a little nervous. Having anxiety stinks, but if I can push myself through exercise when I feel like I might break the bones in my legs I can push past my anxiety. I'll feel a lot better after I concour my unnecessary feelings of dread and I'll look a lot better afterwards too.
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