For the past month, I've been working on stretching my legs, arms, and torso and building muscle in my upper arms. I do have a modest curve when I flex my arms or stretch them out, but it's more cute than defined. I'm doing push-ups now. I can do 4-6 per set before my shoulders start to ache. I'm hoping this will strengthen my deltoids (upper back muscles) too. Strong shoulders are so pretty! I read an article that said that men gain 0.2-.5 of a pound of muscle per week and women gain muscle at half that rate, so it's going to take me twice as much diligence to get muscle than it would for my bf or son. I will keep working on it!
Only recently have I started to purposefully engage my core while exercising. I never did this intentionally before because it hurt me so badly. Ten crunches would put me out for two days. You can't control which places you'll lose fat and gain muscle from, but I know for a fact that I couldn't do squats before I started working on my legs and I couldn't do crunches until I strengthened my back. I'm letting my body lead the way. I think I'm finally ready to start working on my tummy. I am satisfied with my routine of cardio, upper arms, and glutes. I'm not satisfied with how these areas look, but I think, with diligence, that these areas will strengthen more over time.
While watching tv, I'll stop to do some push-ups and crunches. Then I'll stretch while I'm watching a show. Right away, I'm noticing that my stomach is harder and a bit rounder in the middle. I have a lot less sagging when I lean forward, which gives me a grain of hope for my chunky thighs. I'm going to pack down on crunches because I'm really interested in seeing how my stomach muscles will evolve. With just monitoring my diet, I can flex my stomach into a position that looks like abs that aren't cut. I've been trying to find photos of what abdominal muscles look like as they're starting to form. I want a tummy crack to match my back, but I don't think that's going to happen. I read that abs tone from top to bottom, that the crack forms first, that it depends on your stature, that genetics play a part in the possibility of defining abs...idk what to believe, so I'm very curious to watch my core muscles change.
Building muscle makes me feel sore and achy! I get impatient because I want more results and I get greedy when I see the slightest bit of results. More work means more results, right? No. More work means a longer wait to recover and therefore less progress. I'm learning my body's signals of when the ending result will ache versus when it will send me into pain later on. There is a huge difference between an ache and pain. Aches burn and feel uncomfortable when you move, but pain hurts whether you move or not.
I used to get very frustrated that nobody wanted to work out with me, but I learned to get over that. Now I feel frustrated that I'm the only one who recognizes the changes I'm making to my body. I often wonder why I'm pushing and stretching and sweating, especially when the end result is a thicker looking stomach. I say, "Why bother? So some dusty old fat guy on the street can nod in approval? So I don't offend other women by the pool? They're going to hate on me anyway..." I will never be strong enough not to be picked up and thrown by an attacker and I already have my partner, who could not care less if I'm toned up or able to do a split. I have to keep myself in check that I'm exercising for myself to feel stronger and healthier and not for recognition from outside people. Eventually, I'm going to reach a point where people hate me for looking more toned and I'm not ready for that. I promise to never be one of those people who say that they never diet or exercise to maintain their body. I'm busting my tail. Why lie about it like it's easy?!
Strength training results are much slower than cardio. You can't just go at it as hard as possible because it'll bring you pain. You have to ache, heal up, and keep working at something that you know will result in a certain amount of aching. I did want to check in on this blog and share what's going on with me right now. Years from now, I'll most certainly look back and laugh at my ignorance of exercise and poor sentence structure.
For the sake of a documentation of progress, I am sharing this dated picture. The left photo shows the prominent bulge in my stomach that wasn't there when I was simply dieting alone. The picture on the right is of my cute little arm muscle. I think it's so cute. Can't wait to build up my muscles even more :-)
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